1...2...3...4...5...6...

(We find Sonic, Tails and Knuckles seated at a card table, each concentrating fiercely on their fists of cards. Sonic draws a card from Tails, places it with his, and makes a funny face.)

KNUCKLES: That's a nice poker face, Sonic. Looks more like you tasted a lemon.

SONIC: Don't even ask.

TAILS [titters]

(Knuckles draws a card from Sonic, slaps down two matching cards, then holds out his fan of cards to Tails. Tails draws one, looks at his cards, then Sonic draws from him. Sonic examines his cards, shakes his head, then holds out his hand to Knuckles. Knuckles draws a card, puts it with his others, and makes a funny face.)

SONIC [sarcastically] That's a nice poker face, Knuckles. Looks like you tasted a sour grape.

KNUCKLES: Oh, shut up.

(Amy Rose walks onto the bridge. Little pink hearts float above her head as she sees Sonic.)

AMY: Sonic!

(Sonic looks up, sees her and vanishes in a cloud of fluttering cards.)

AMY: [whining] Where'd he go? I wanted to play Old Maid, too! Whhhhiiiinnnneee!

(Tails and Knuckles look up and screech in unison, "THORN!!!" They flee the premises, cards floating in their wake.]

AMY: [pouting] Well then, fine, I'll just shut them up in the theater and play this new reel we got today. Humph. Serves them right. [She puts it on and the lights dim]

6...5...4...3...2...1...

SONIC: [with all his spikes standing on end and eyes wide] I don't know. Man, she gave me a heart attack! She was coming for me, just like in the movie!

KNUCKLES: Ah, just wait until you see this opening segment.

SONIC: Oh boy, I donno if I can take it ...

'Amy' grinned as she raised the dagger above her head.

SONIC: I was right! It's terrible! Hide me! [he jumps behind the row of theater seats]

"Amy, what are you doing??" demanded Sonic.

TAILS: [As Amy] Hold still, I'm gonna give you a manicure.

She smiled,
      and Sonic could see that her teeth were

KNUCKLES: Green and rotting.

sharpened into little daggers, like fangs.

TAILS: Cool, she's a vampire!

SONIC: No, an umpire.

KNUCKLES: No, not umpire, bird brain, empire. Like in Star Wars.

TAILS: Cool, can I be Luke Skywalker?

SONIC: And I'll be Darth Vader! [he cups his hands and makes deep breathing sounds] Luke, I am your father!

"I'm not who you think I am." she
      growled.

SONIC: I'm somebody else, duh.

"Are you going to try and kill me with that thing?"

KNUCKLES: [as that guy from Princess Bride] That thing, and that--that other thing??

Sonic asked, shocked.

TAILS: He stuck his keys into a wall outlet.

Amy giggled. "Oh no, Sonic! If I
      killed you, I wouldn't get

SONIC: To go to Twinkle Park!

paid!" She suddenly jumped into

KNUCKLES: A gigantic blob of jello.

the air, onto Myron's net,

TAILS: You mean it's MYRON'S net now? I thought it was hers!

SONIC: Plot hole alert! Whoop! Whoop!

KNUCKLES: Moron Myron, moron Myron, moron Myron ...

and began to cut the rope with the
      knife.

SONIC: Amazing. They couldn't break out, but she could cut it with an ordinary knife.

Myron and Amy both plummeted to the ground again.

TAILS: They had been suspended in mid-air, drinking 7-UP while raindrops fell on them for a commercial.

Myron opened his eyes, and frowned. "Ere! Thorn!

SONIC: [As Myron] Well well, who do we have 'ere? It's that tough plumber dude!

What
      the freakin' hell are you doin' here?

KNUCKLES: Oh, puh-LEEZE don't start the freakin' hell jokes again!

You're not only in the wrong time, but the wrong UNIVERSE!"

TAILS: You can say that again. He's even in the wrong GAME! Somebody sue Nintendo!

"Thorn?" asked
      Sonic.

SONIC: [as himself] Hm, Thorn? The rosebush? I'm sure we've met before ...

"Yes, THORN!" replied the Amy look-alike.

KNUCKLES: And don't confuse me with that lilac bush over there.

"And I'm here because YOU stupid hunter freaks FAILED the

TAILS: Driving test and are NOW dead MEAT because you TOOK OUT your PARENTS' CAR.

      Governess! She decided to get someone COMPETENT!"

SONIC: Like Bill GATES. He made billions by ruthlessly HEADHUNTING rival COMPANIES. Something YOU can't DO because you're MENTALLY CHALLENGED.

KNUCKLES: Mentally Challenged means stupid, for those of you who don't follow politically-correct-ese.

This enraged Myron greatly.

SONIC: He jumped up and ripped her head off.

"I had that hedgehog RIGHT
      WHERE I WANTED HIM! YOU HEAR ME??"

TAILS: Yeah, up in the net with me in a killer triple headlock.

While the two were arguing, Sonic was thinking.

KNUCKLES: [as Sonic] Boy, those two are really dumb.

Here, he had a
      hunter from

TAILS: Mars.

the future and an assassin from

SONIC: Stargate.

an alternate reality, or so it seemed.

KNUCKLES: Oh sure, he couldn't tell that the evil Amy was from an alternate universe. You're real bright, Sonic.

SONIC: [draws back a fist] What did you say to me?

KNUCKLES: I said you were real bright.

SONIC: Oh. Thanks. [he sits back down]

What did they both want with HIM?

TAILS: They saw him rip off that coke machine back on Zokbar-5.

      Suddenly, there was a sound which silenced the entire group.

KNUCKLES: Somebody whipped out an accordian and played the Polka-rap.

A tremendous roar through the forest.

SONIC: Hm, if a giant monster roared in a forest, and there was no one around to hear him, would he make a sound?

TAILS: Hmm. Let's vote on it.

"The monster.."

KNUCKLES: Ate the babysitter!

      whispered Knuckles. Myron (suddenly seeming ten times as

SONIC: Fat.

TAILS: Stupid

KNUCKLES: Maniacal

bold) put his hand out to stop everyone. He sniffed the air.

SONIC: Mmm, pot-roast.

      "Something's different."

TAILS: Yeah, that monster wasn't there before!!

he pointed out. "The sound of the roar..

SONIC: It sounded like a burp!

it's deeper.

ALL: Eeeeeeewwwwww!!

. ere! I think we have ourselves a bigger

SONIC: Burp.

      monster!" "Bigger?" asked Sonic.

KNUCKLES: [As Sonic] Drat, I got the wrong sized shirt.

"There are two monsters?"

TAILS: [As Myron] Um, two monsters, let me think of the ramifications of that and run it through a spreadsheet analysis ... hmm ... I can safely say ...

"No." replied Myron. "I mean it's BIGGER. It's

KNUCKLES: Rainbow-striped!

  GROWN." there was silence for a while.

SONIC: Then they heard it burp.

TAILS: There goes Amy.

Then there was another, closer

KNUCKLES: Infomercial.

SONIC: *Yawn* More cars with more gizmos and gadgets, all at a retailer near you.

roar. "What would YOU know?" demanded
      Thorn.

KNUCKLES: Who, me? Nothing, actually. I'm just standing here, minding my own business, when all of a sudden this giant monster made of water attacked me ...

Myron frowned.

SONIC: [as Myron] You need some deoderant, girl.

"I am the greatest hunter of

SONIC: Wildibeest.

TAILS: Humans.

KNUCKLES: Skantily clad females who raid tombs.

my time, sweety.

TAILS: Hey! I eat those out of Lucky Charms in the morning!

I reckon I should know what I'm talkin' about.

SONIC: I read about it in the National Inquierer only last week.

      And wot's more,

TAILS: What's a wot?

SONIC: A sort of deep-fat-fryer.

I reckon this thing is pretty dang PO'ed

KNUCKLES: That means Put Out.

SONIC: No, it means Pretty Old.

Tails: No, it means Pie Orb.

at us, right now. It wants us

SONIC: Fried in the Wot.

TAILS: To vanish from the face of the planet and end up where all the echidnas went.

KNUCKLES: To play Sonic Adventure 2 and give it all the sneak previews.

SONIC: Hey, I wouldn't mind that at all!

dead."

SONIC: Meat.

KNUCKLES: Air.

TAILS: What's with the triple word guesses all of a sudden?

[Sonic holds a pistol to Tails's head and hisses, "Guess a word."]

TAILS: in the water.

KNUCKLES: Where did that pistol come from?

SONIC: I found it in that plot hole back there.

      The two shivering turkeys,

TAILS: Sat on the table with no head, guts or feathers because it was Thanksgiving.

un-armed and helpless, stood before Dr. Robotnik.

KNUCKLES: [as Robotnik] I wanted beef.

"Who are you?" he asked, coldly.

SONIC: He had the air-conditioning set too high.

      "P-Please don't kill us!" trembled Basil.

TAILS: [as Basil] If you do, I'll get you back!

SONIC: [as Floyd] How the bloody 'ell you gonna do that if yer dead?

TAILS: [as Basil] I'll make a warp in the spacetime continuum and circle back around to five minutes after I died and shoot Robotnik, thereby killing off all hope of further Sonic games!

KNUCKLES: Do that and I'll kill you myself.

Floyd frowned, and conked him on the

SONIC: Pencil.

head. "Floyd and Basil.. two of the
      greatest

TAILS: Hotdogs.

hunters on Mobius." he declared. "And who might you be, tall dark

KNUCKLES: ugly, fat, deranged, evil,

and mysterious?" "I ASK THE
      QUESTIONS AROUND HERE!" shouted Robotnik.

SONIC: [as Robotnik] ONLY THE GAMESHOW HOST GETS TO ASK THE QUESTIONS!

KNUCKLES: [as Floyd] Okay then, I'll take 'Evil Dictators' for 200.

"I am Dr. Robotnik, ruler of

TAILS: The almighty toothbrush.

Robotropolis, and soon the

SONIC: Cavity.

world."
      he grinned. "You say you are

TAILS: Fanfic writers?

SONIC: [as Robotnik] Good, write one where I win for once.

KNUCKLES: Here, read this one and this one and this one and ...

SONIC [As Robotnik] But they're all R and X rated!

KNUCKLES: That's because only bad people let bad guys win.

hunters?" Floyd nodded, and Basil shook his head. Floyd slapped him.

KNUCKLES: Look, it's a Three Stooges ep.

TAILS: Where's the third one?

KNUCKLES: He's the dude in the mustache.

"The greatest." he
      added. "I was hoping so." said Robotnik. "I require the services of two such

SONIC: Dimwits to go out and tackle a man-eating monster.

as yourselves... Paid services.. of course."
      Floyd shook his head. "I'm sorry Mr. Robotnik,

TAILS: [as Robotnik] That's DOCTOR Robotnik to you, bub.

but we're already employed by

KNUCKLES: Darth Maul to find Queen Amadala.

the Governess.. we need to captur--"

TAILS: A T-rex.

      "How much are you being paid?" Robotnik inquired. "Five Million apiece." replied Basil.

SONIC: [As Basil] Plus living expenses, plane tickets, vaccinations, passports and red tape.

Robotnik grinned wider. "I'll

KNUCKLES: Be darned if I'm going to pay you that much. You can leave now.

      triple it." "THREE MILLION? EACH?" asked

TAILS: The greedy little goblins.

both hunters at once. "That's right." replied Robotnik. "And all you
      have to do is

KNUCKLES: Be the last ones left alive on the island at the end of three years.

SONIC: Of course, there will be people gunning for you to make it more interesting.

TAILS: [Sigh] That would be great.

find something for me.

SONIC: I've recently lost my wallet and ...

A creature with the ability to drown others..."

SONIC: In their own blood.

KNUCKLES: Sonic, you're scaring Tails.

TAILS: I can be grosser than that. Watch. [He burps loudly]

SONIC: Oh yeah? Watch this! [He burps so loudly the screen rattles]

[Basil, Floyd and Robotnik look up and yell at the same time, "WHAT DO YOU SAY??"]

SONIC: Excuse me.

KNUCKLES: [Smirking] That'll teach ya.

"Drown?" asked Floyd. "Heck,
      we've seen that!

TAILS: [as Floyd] Remember, Basil? We caught that blue hedgehog and held him under until ...

It attacked us yesterday! Of course we got away.. we're not the greatest hunters in the world fer
      nothin', you know!"

SONIC: Uh huh, sure.

"EXCELLENT!" replied Robotnik. "Capture it, and bring it to me, and you shall both be very rich
      indeed."

SONIC: Five bucks each. How does that sound?

SONIC: I thought monitors were lizards.

KNUCKLES: There are monitor lizards, but--

SONIC: See then? All the lizards in the future will be skinny and starved.

KNUCKLES: I give up.

Governess didn't swivel her chair around,

TAILS: Floyd had jammed his gum into the swivel part.

when her lead scientist, Tash,

SONIC: Hey, Tash is the evil creature from the Last Battle!

KNUCKLES: Tash Bandicoot!

visited her chamber to report what was the

TAILS: Weather outside.

SONIC: [as Tash] Well it's hot and sunny out there, like it always is in the desert. It'll be hot and sunny tomorrow, and the day after. In fact, come back tomorrow when I'll play this recording over and over and ...

      TimeGate's condition.

KNUCKLES: StarGate, TimeGate, what's the difference?

Sometimes her visitors felt like conversing with a wall,

SONIC: A wall would be more interesting company.

TAILS: Hello Mr. Wall, how are you today?

THE WALL: Just fine today, Tails, how are you?

[All stare]

when they saw only back of a metallic
      chair to talk to. But behind that, there was always a person listening...a rather twisted person, who viciously saw the
      truth behind every more or less lied word.

[Sonic falls out of his chair laughing] More or less lied word! I love that! I love that! That's great!

      "...Even the consoles go off at times. The Gate eats all our energy -

TAILS: It's a very hungry gate. It ate three horses, an elephant and Myron only yesterday.

SONIC: Or so goes every more or less lied word.

and if we don't get more, it might run totally out of

KNUCKLES: Peanut butter.

      it, and the time void would be closed. That would be not very good news to your uh...employee in the past." Tash
      explained.

KNUCKLES: I'm sure Thorn wouldn't enjoy that at all.

SONIC: Eh, it's all more or less lies anyway.

      "The reason because I hired you is to have someone

TAILS: To scrub the toilets for me.

overcome our problems with the Gate. Stop this pointless whining
      and go finish your duties.

SONIC: You whiny tech.

And, take your power from the cantina.

KNUCKLES: Whoooppeee!!

[All three get up and dance around to the Cantina music from Star Wars Episode 4. Suddenly the power goes out and they all sit down again.]

Citizens can hold their hunger until I have my revenge
      on the hedgehog."

SONIC: No we caaaaan't! I can't wait! I'm starving!

KNUCKLES: Sonic, how come you're always such a fussy young man? Don't want no Captain Crunch, no Raisin Bran? Well, don't you know there's other kids who are starving in Japan, so just eat it.

TAILS: Really?

KNUCKLES: All parents tell their kids that.

SONIC: It's all more or less lies, anyway.

The Governess menaced.

TAILS: Sonic, how do you 'menace'?

SONIC: Kind of like this. [all his spines stand up, his eyes turn crazy, and he raises an axe above his head.]

Tash knew, that the amount of power input into the underground cantina
      wouldn't even power his operations display, but decided to remain silent.

KNUCKLES: It doesn't take much power to fuel a single candle.

SONIC: It's all more or less lies. That's why he's keeping quiet.

Let's do what the superior wants. She's
      responsible what she has ordered others to do, if anything.

TAILS: Was that first person?

SONIC: I can't tell. Knuckles, was that-- [He stares at Knuckles. Knux is now dressed in a glittering tuxedo and is holding a microphone.]

KNUCKLES: [in a grinning, fake gameshow host voice] Yes, now you too can own the handy Person Spectacles, which allows the viewer to tell the difference between First Person and Thrid Person! Risk free, lifetime warantee and no down payments until 2005! Buy yours TODAY!!

SONIC: Cool, let me try some. [He picks up the spectacles and immediately breaks them.]

[Knuckles turns into the Evil IRS Agent.] Oh yes, you have broken the precious, yes, nasty little hedgehog. You wasn't careful with them, oh no my precious. Now you will be sued for your precious hide and tallow, oh yes my precious.

      The intercom reported of another

TAILS: Goose chase.

person willing to visit the

KNUCKLES: Remains of E-102 Gamma.

Governess. As she commanded the visitor in from behind

SONIC: The Iron Curtain.

      her chair, Tash attempted to leave as the

KNUCKLES: Anvil crashed into the Governess's head.

Governess mostly accepted only one

TAILS: Bon bon.

person visiting at time.
      "Stay where you are, Tashville.

SONIC: Tashville, Tennessee! Home of ... something.

This might concern you too." The Governess surprisingly said.

KNUCKLES: She was surprised she had said it.

      The doors slid open in the back of the

TAILS: Catering truck.

chamber, and an young, black echidna

SONIC: Ordered a burrito.

TAILS: In Spanish.

KNUCKLES: Burrito.

SONIC: No, in Spanish.

walked in relaxedly. He came directly to

TAILS: Pluto.

      the Governess' desk, just throwing a quick

SONIC: Banana peel.

'Peace, man' at Tash. He wore hair,

KNUCKLES: Of course, doesn't everybody?

SONIC: Maybe he was bald and had to wear a toupe.

TAILS: Toupe? Is that spelled right?

SONIC: Don't ask.

dyed to light orange, in rastas,

SONIC: That's a kind of pasta, I think.

which
      were currently top fashion on Mobius.

KNUCKLES: The 'spaghetti' look.

He also had a metallic

TAILS: Ball and chain.

Mobian peace emblem hanging around his neck, and had
      overall a rather 'hippy' feeling.

SONIC: Um ... I can't beat that one.

      "Jarod." The Governess said, and Tash could almost hear her smiling her evil smile.

KNUCKLES: All villains smile their evil smiles, what are you talking about?

"What brings you here?"
      The echidna threw his

SONIC: Ears.

head back, moving the

TAILS: Dodge pickups

rastas from in front of his

KNUCKLES: Nostrils.

eyes.
      "The name's J. Don't forget tha', Aunt-G." He spoke, and started leaning against Governess' desk. Even when Tash
      saw the friendly relationship with these two, the dictator wasn't even attending to turn in her chair.

[All frozen to their chairs in horror]

      "I'll but this straight; My bro's away."

TAILS: Wait, wait, this is Myron's brother??

SONIC: Man, do I feel sorry for him.

KNUCKLES: [With dyed orange hair and shades] Me too, man.

SONIC: How do you keep doing that?

KNUCKLES: I fell in a plothole.

The echidna spoke in his relaxed way. "What I heard about where he was last
      seen----as your employee, Aunt-G. Now, I came to you..."

SONIC: ....to bribe and blackmail you, if need be, to make Myron join the dark side. C'mon, you know you wanna ...

      "Ah...sorry, but your older brother isn't working for me anymore." The Governess said.

TAILS: See, there was another Myron, an evil Myron, and ... I killed him.

      "How come 'ain't workin'?" The echidna slashed back.

SONIC: With a knife that added to the Governess's hideous appearance.

      "He was foolish enough to let me down another time.

KNUCKLES: He put sardines on my pizza instead of anchovies.

And I preferred it to be the last time." The dictator spoke with her
      normal, vicious tone of voice.

SONIC: It's quite usual for her to be vicious.

TAILS: Dobermen pincers usually are.

      "Yeah, I know...but where is he?" Said the echidna.

SONIC: He ran away to learn the ways of the Force and become a Jedi.

      "...Jarod, look.

KNUCKLES: I gave him that lightsaber myself.

I am a bit busy here with Dr. Tashville,

TAILS: Taking off his ears and such.

so if you could come to see me another time...."

SONIC: Preferrably when I've finished reading Harry Potter and the Chamber of Secrets ....

      "No way." The echidna interrupted the Governess' talking. "What are you hiding from me? What I've heard about my
      brother, and where he is...

KNUCKLES: ...Is all the news I need, thanks, bye.

why can't you just say straight, what you have done to him! Maybe...left him alone into
      another time?!?" J raged.

SONIC: [blank look] What?

"I can't do anything to my brother hating nature,

[All] OOOOOOO!!! Anti-environmentalist!

and I also have protected it from him all my
      life.

TAILS: What, the environment?

SONIC: Quick, run along, little environment, here comes my evil brother!

But, heck, he is my brother, Aunt-G! I want him back alive!"

KNUCKLES: I hate my bro, but I want him back anyway.

The echidna started to dig something from his
      pocket.

SONIC: Then he went in after it with a pickaxe, then a shovel, digging deeper and deeper until at last there was nothing more to be seen of him except his pants standing there alone with a bulging pocket ....

He dragged it out, and tossed it to the Governess' desk.

TAILS: There's my library card.

      "Here you go." The object was a highly glowing rock, the size of an adult's fist.

SONIC: What kind of adult? Adult monkey? Adult hedgehog? Adult hummingbird? Adult Rhode Island Red?

"You can take it. It's enough to power
      up the

SONIC: Jumper cables.

TimeGate again and bring Myron back. That's all I ask. Keep the emerald as a reward, if you really want."

KNUCKLES: That's ... that's a Chaos Emerald!

TAILS: [as Robotnik from Sonic Adventure] That's right, fool! You practically gave them to me!

And
      then, the echidna

SONIC: Burst.

walked away, out of the

TAILS: Space station.

chamber. The Governess was dead silent behind her chair.

KNUCKLES: Good, she finally died. End of fic.

And so was
      Tash, because of

TAILS: The poison in his tea.

his amazement when looking at a live Chaos Emerald, with his own eyes.

SONIC: Actually, they weren't his eyes, they were some extras he had bummed off some guy in the park, but they seemed to work pretty well ...

SONIC: All right! My favorite part!

While Sonic tried to come up with an escape from the trap,

KNUCKLES: Trap? What trap? Don't tell me they're still in the net.

SONIC: They're still in the net.

the hunters set out to capture

TAILS: The Golden Snitch.

SONIC: You can't have MST lines from Harry Potter, idiot, because not everybody's read them!

TAILS: They'll know what the Snitch is when the movie comes out.

SONIC: True ...

Chaos, and Thorn and

KNUCKLES: Curly.

      Myron debated what to do about the monster, a very different scene was playing out in the Dust Hill Zone.

SONIC: Awww, back to the stupid scene with the Governess! I'm sick of her! Let's get back to me!

KNUCKLES: Naw, this is some more plot exposition.

TAILS: Heaven preserve us.

      Governor Kern

TAILS: River.

seemed to be popular with most of the Echidnas, but his own daughter despised him.

KNUCKLES: He picked his nose too much.

She never let it
      show too obviously, though.

SONIC: He might wipe boogers on her.

The Governor seemed to interpret the best of her actions, either because of a trusting
      personality, or a need to ignore the painful truth.

TAILS: That she was actually an alien in disguise that came down to infilterate his planet.

      In reality, his daughter bossed and mistreated everyday citizens.

SONIC: You there! Pick up my dirty socks! You! Polish my shoes for an hour!

She wanted all the power she could get, and knew that
      she would never be satisfied with ruling some hidden civilization in the middle of a desert.

KNUCKLES: She wants to take over the world and marry Robotnik along the way.

SONIC: Eww.

She wanted to rule millions.

TAILS: Of ants.

      Her father had the superior Echidna technology to rule the world, yet stubbornly refused to use it for war.

SONIC: Doggone him, he used all that emerald power to mow the lawn.

This fact was
      a constant thorn in her side.

KNUCKLES: Which is why she made use of this thorn to headhunt poor hedgehogs.

      Governor Kern

TAILS: River.

gazed out of the giant observation window of his throne room. Every day, he would marvel at what the
      Echidnas had accomplished. They had turned Dust Hill City into a lush and beautiful oasis in the desert.

KNUCKLES: [Sarcastically] Hooray for them. They're still without electricity, running water, indoor heating and the Master Emerald.

      ---

TAILS: What is THAT?

SONIC: It's an alien spaceship! It's coming to abduct us!

KNUCKLES: Yippee! Something to get us off this MST!

[green light fills the room, and is followed by a weird humming sound]

ALIENS: Greetings. We are looking for the nearest route to MacZarnalds. Over 200 Billion earthlingburgers served.

SONIC: Um .... you're going the wrong way. Take the second star to the right and straight on till morning.

ALIENS: [Whispering] I told you we should have taken the last exit!

[The humming and green light vanishes]

TAILS: Darn.

      The Governess continued to angrily stomp around her throne room.

KNUCKLES: [as the Governess] Why didn't they pick me up? WHY? WHY? WHY?

SONIC: Because you're not an earthlingburger, obviously.

Outside, a polluted mass of buildings laid below a

TAILS: Giant shadow of Godzilla.

      skyline of smog. This was the small area of Dust Hill City that remained under her control. Much of the city had already

SONIC: Disintigrated.

      broken free. She continued to pace.

KNUCKLES: Pecante!

Neither Myron nor Thorn had returned.

TAILS: Then she remembered she had locked her office door.

      "They should have reappeared instantly" Tash thought.

SONIC: That means they must have all been eaten by Chaos! Cool!

      There were only 3 possible explanations for their disappearance.

TAILS: One: Suicide.

SONIC: Two: Alien abduction.

KNUCKLES: Three: a rebellion to break away from the Governess's tyranny and outdated political ideas to move to a new land and set up a new governement where all Mobians were created equal, and ....

Myron and Thorn may have found another way back,
      simply arriving at a different place and a slightly different time.

SONIC: Which, obviously, were the wrong place and the wrong time.

However, they could have become lost in another era, or

KNUCKLES: Eloped to Paris.

      they may have even been killed.

TAILS: That's too bad.

      Of course, the Governess, unwilling to wait to see if

SONIC: They could actually beat all 14 special stages in Sonic 3 and Knuckles.

Myron or Thorn had shown up elsewhere, simply demanded that
      more hunters be sent back to find Sonic. Tash never admitted it, but her 'injuries' terrified him. He knew it was illogical,
      but it couldn't be helped, especially when those injuries were combined with a cruel temper.

KNUCKLES: Her mutilated face was pretty bad, but her white, rolling eyeballs were even worse. And then there were those horns poking out of the top of her head, and the scales on her arms ...

      The Governess was obsessed with revenge, but knew that she had no chance of catching the hedgehog in the present.
      At the age of 56, Sonic had done nothing but increase in speed, ability, and wisdom since his early adventures, and it
      didn't look as though he was going to stop.

SONIC: Cool! When I get old I'm still gonna be cool! I was afraid I'd turn into an old cod and sit in a wheelchair and talk about old times!

KNUCKLES: 56 isn't that old, Sonic.

TAILS: How long do hedgehogs live, anyway?

SONIC: Umm ...

The Governess had decided that the best time to attack would be during
      one of the times when Sonic would be busy with Robotnik, Metal Sonic, Nack, or Chaos.

TAILS: Nack? Metal Sonic? I didn't know they were in this!

KNUCKLES: They're in it, but they haven't played major roles yet.

      ---

SONIC: LOOK! IT'S THE ALIEN SPACESHIP AGAIN!

TAILS: Sheesh Sonic, you don't have to yell.

[Sonic is standing in his chair, waving. The green light and hum fills the room again.]

ALIENS: You have given us incorrect directions! We wound up at the Intergalactic Space Mall, and all they had was BurgerZing. Please tell us the way to MacZarnalds. We want to get the Kiddy Meals and get our own free Space Ranger toys.

KNUCKLES: See that planet down below? That's MacZarnalds. Help yourselves.

ALIENS: Goody. Thank you, space travellers.

[The hum and light dissappears]

SONIC: What'd you make them leave for??

TAILS: I'M sure not telling them we're earthlings.

      In the main section of Dust Hill City, stories were told of how Sonic had

KNUCKLES: Been in a drunken stupor hanging upside down from a moving vehicle and still made the shot.

SONIC: Yeah! It looked impossible. The guy was travelling away from me at an angle and ...

saved them so many years ago.

TAILS: From the Mario invasion.

KNUCKLES: Now that's one tough plumber.

Before Dust
      Hill had been revealed to the general public,

TAILS: Through various gaming magazines that took screenshots of Sonic 2 Beta.

only a few stories of the hedgehog's experiences there had leaked out to
      the rest of the world.

SONIC: Thank goodness for the internet.

It wasn't a secret, but most Echidnas simply didn't leave very often.

KNUCKLES: Duh. Why would they want to leave Launch Arco?

      The rumors of Sonic's Dust Hill adventure were the subject of much debate in the outside world before Dust Hill City
      became widely known.

TAILS: You can say that again! Do you know how many Sonic 2 Beta sites there are that deal with that very subject?

SONIC: I prefer Wood Zone, myself.

The hype was fueled even more when a supposed photograph was released to the press.

KNUCKLES: I'm beginning to get the feeling that we're not the only ones riffing Sonic 2 Beta.

It
      depicted Sonic running out of thin air, between the path of 2 buzzers, and headed straight for a sliding river of sand with
      a rock platform just above it.

[Silence]

KNUCKLES: What did I say? He WAS riffing Sonic 2 Beta!

SONIC: Yeah! A fellow MSTer! Let's get him in here!

VECTOR: Huh? What? I don't want to riff my own story section!

TAILS: You'd better, or else we'll blow your head off with this gun, 'ere.

VECTOR: No you won't. I'll just call for help. [He sticks out a thumb]

      ---

SONIC: Look, it's the aliens again!

TAILS: You must have given them wrong directions again.

SONIC: I didn't give them the wrong directions, Knuckles did.

KNUCKLES: Lookout, there goes Vector!

[Vector beams up]

ALIENS: Thank you, space travellers! We have recieved our earthlingburgers and Kiddy Meals!

ROBOTNIK: LET ME OUT OF HERE!!!! [he bangs on the spaceship window]

VECTOR: Face it, Doc, you're an earthling. See you guys! [He waves to the Sattellite of Sega]

[The three in the sattelite wave back. The spaceship vanishes into space.]

KNUCKLES: [grinning] I could almost riff the rest of this fic happily now.

      Vector, Espio, Mighty, and Charmy

SONIC: The Beatles!

continued to look through the Forest for their missing friends. Sonic's tracks had
      disappeared in a very damp area of ground.

TAILS: But not mud, of course.

After a few minutes, Charmy spotted Sonic in the net and went back into
      the Forest to get the others.

SONIC: Finally, somebody rescued me.

KNUCKLES: Do you notice that nobody thought to climb out the hole Thorn made when she cut Myron out?

TAILS: Plot hole alert! Whoop! Whoop!

KNUCKLES: A chao race!

SONIC: Drat, Chalcon beat Snowy.

TAILS: You have a chao, Sonic?

SONIC: I wish I did.

Pip had decided that since Sonic had been rescued, there wasn't much point in sticking around.

TAILS: [as Pip] Yeah, Sonic's rescued, so I'm just going to stand around and stare an an empty net!

She tried to think of
      something brave or amusing to do.

SONIC: Like time travelling to the future and giving the Governess a good kick. Brave and amusing at once.

      As she was walking along, a thought came to her. Why not go and spy on Robotropolis? That's what she and Tails had
      been going to do in the first place, anyway.

KNUCKLES: And get captured, too. That was always part of her plan.

TAILS: Batty.

      She silently crept away from the group and when she was out of earshot turned on her jet boosters to give her some
      extra speed.

SONIC: Whoa, where did those come from?

KNUCKLES: It's a self-insert, Sonic. Relax.

[Tails kicks the bucket]

[Sonic picks up the bucket and sets it upright again]

      As she was

SONIC: Sleeping

flying above the

TAILS: Nuclear power plant

forest, she happened to glance down and

KNUCKLES: Burst into flames.

glimpsed the creature made out of

TAILS: Dung.

water that
      she'd seen earlier. She aimed her wing carefully and shot the monster with her in built lasers as she flew overhead.

SONIC: [as Chaos in a falsetto] OUCH!

It
      didn't seem to have any effect at all.

SONIC: [as Chaos] Neener neener neener.

She shrugged to herself and flew on, towards Robotropolis.
Pip had landed on the ground and was walking now.

KNUCKLES: Chaos had attacked her and torn off both her arms, but of course that was in an earlier scene that has been conviently skipped.

She was wondering how she was going to get into Robotropolis.

TAILS: She would follow the yellow brick road.

      The sound of chanting reached her ears.

SONIC: [singing] Follow the yellow brick road! Follow follow follow follow ...

[Knuckles slaps him]

Looking up, she saw a figure in the clearing ahead of her, doing a sort of
      mystical dance.

TAILS: The fact that he was three feet off the ground on a skateboard tipped her off.

He was wearing a long robe and the only thing showing was his burning red eyes.

KNUCKLES: [Snapping fingers] Quick, what does this remind you of?

SONIC: The freaky little hooded creatures!

TAILS: Jawas?

SONIC: Yeah, Jawas on skateboards!

Puzzled, she stepped
      forward.
      "Excuse me? Err... hello?"
      The figure did not respond.

KNUCKLES: Jawas are so rude.

      "I said hello!" yelled Pip.
      This seemed to get the figure's attention. he spun round and glared at her.
      "You have interrupted me! You will pay dearly..."

TAILS: He slowly pulled off his hood to reveal ... Lord Voldemort! He attacked Pip with the Spell of Death, killing her instantly ...

      "Sorry, it's just that all that chanting stuff gives me the creeps."

SONIC: [Dancing around with indian feathers and a shaker and face painted] Heyaheyaheya hoi! Hoi! Hoi! Hiiiya! Heyaheyaheyaheyaheya ...

TAILS: What're you doing?

SONIC: Chanting.

      The hooded person seemed to notice who he was speaking to for the first time.
      "Are you the... the special one?" he hissed.

TAILS: [as Pip] Yeah, I'm so jam-packed with midichlorians I can't see straight, let alone drive a podracer. That might make me a little special.

      "Pardon?"

KNUCKLES: Ditto.

      "You are..." The figure recovered himself.

SONIC: He had just walked off and left his head floating in midair.

"You want to get into Robotropolis, correct?"
      "Err, yeah. How did you know?"

TAILS: I saw the flyer advertising Free Robotization, today and tomorrow only. Everybody's going.

      "I can get you inside there."
      "Really? Wow! Thanks!"

SONIC: Now, just stand on that big X over there while I arm my rocket launcher.

      "Stand there."

SONIC: See?

      Pip moved over to the spot indicated. The figure waved his hand. There was a flash of light, then the bat was gone.

KNUCKLES: Stupid idiot, if she just let him blow her away, she deserved it.

      The robed figure waved his hand again and a portal appeared before him. He stepped through it and--

TAILS: Was blown backward until he hit a tree! The portal pursued him, laughing maliciously ...

      There was dark all around him.

KNUCKLES: He had walked into the movie theater just in time for the opening credits.

Moving forward, he stood before a pedestal. Mounted on the top was a

SONIC: Waffle and a jar of maple syrup.

TAILS: [as the freaky hooded creature] Yummy! Breakfast!

skull, beaten
      and weather worn.

SONIC: It had laid in the top of a tree for centuries, just under the Harpy's nest ...

As the hooded figure approached, however, lights came on in it's sockets- small red pupils.

KNUCKLES: [as the skull] ooooooOOOOOOOOOoooooooOOOOOOOOooooo ...

TAILS: You know, those stupid Halloween thingies ..

      "I have completed my task, master."

SONIC: So the freaky hooded creature has a freaky talking skull as a master?

TAILS: What's this fic rated, anyway? Do they go out and kill someone?

KNUCKLES: Calm down, nobody dies in this fic.

TAILS: I wish I could. Sonic keeps fixing the bucket.

      A voice echoed around the chamber.
      "Good. You have sent her to Robotropolis, yes?"
      "Affirmative master."
      "She must die! I will have my revenge!"

SONIC: Oh great, so not only does the Governess want revenge on me, but the freaky hooded team wants revenge on Pip!

TAILS: How many plots does this thing have, anyway?

KNUCKLES: Too many, obviously.

      The robed figure nodded.
      "I will see to it that she will not survive, do not trouble yourself."
      "I just hope that you are right. If she ever finds out...

SONIC: ... That I'm actually all that's left of Elivis ...

same goes for that other bat, the vampire. They must never find
      out that this...

TAILS: Pizza place.

KNUCKLES: Crackerbox.

SONIC: Jukebox.

game... is rigged..."

SONIC: Hah! I knew there was something fishy about the whole Survivor thing!

      "They will never know. Not even that hedgehog. Until it is too late of course."

TAILS: Of course, nobody ever knows it's too late until they are laying dying on the ground as the villain stands over them, laughing evilly.

SONIC: What have you been reading, Tails?

TAILS: Mobian Apocalypse by Drazen.

[all shudder]

TAILS: Hey look, the text changed colors AGAIN!

KNUCKLES: Who is it this time?

SONIC: Looks like that NetRaptor person. The stalker.

TAILS: How many colors more are there?

KNUCKLES: Just this one, then we can go home.

SONIC: If Amy hasn't locked all the doors.

"Look, Amy--or Thorn," Sonic said uneasily,

SONIC: YAY! They got back to me!! And I'm still uneasy around evil Amy duplicates!

glancing about, "we've gotta get out of here. If that thing is getting bigger, like My' says,

TAILS: Who's 'My'?

SONIC: Me.

KNUCKLES: Myself.

TAILS: I.

then we'd better make ourselves scarce."

"Myron," the echidna growled.

Thorn looked a bit uneasy, but tried to hide it,

SONIC: In her backpack, but it was no use because her Angry Eyes and Evil Smile kept getting in the way.

which she did well. "I ain't scared of no monster-thingy. I'm as mean as anything you can think of--"

TAILS: Charging Rhinos ...

KNUCKLES: A mother bear with cubs ...

SONIC: A giant hungry squid ...

Another gurgling roar silenced her.

SONIC: Obviously the giant squid.

"I'm with Sonic," Tails said nervously, staring off toward the sound.

TAILS: I get the top bunk.

"Let's get outta here!"

KNUCKLES: My thoughts exactly! [He turns into Nights and flies away]

[Sonic and Tails watch, dumbfounded]

Knuckles, Tails, Myron and Sonic

TAILS: Threw a pool party.

SONIC: You think he'll come back?

TAILS: He's got to. All the doors out of here are locked.

set off at a fast walk through the trees, 


SONIC: A really fast walk, which means that Sonic went at a fast walk and everybody else rode motorcycles.

Thorn trailing along behind uncertainly.

TAILS: Like a thorny tumbleweed.

She had been hired to

SONIC: Do handstands and cartwheels.

capture Sonic, and none too gently at that ... but it seemed that

TAILS: He had already been captured by Myron, so she was out of a job. Thinking quickly, she whipped out her sniper rifle, took aim at Myron's head and squeezed the trigger ...

SONIC: That's T-R-I-double-guh-err.

things were none too secure here. At any rate, she couldn't very well take Sonic now, when he was surrounded by his friends and wary of her. She would have to act when he was alone and off guard ...

TAILS: This author is so vague I can't think of anything to say!

As they neared Knothole, Tails said, "Uh-oh, here comes the nutcase again."

SONIC: What nutcase? It's not ... not ...

Sure enough, coming toward them was Dash Dingo,

SONIC: AAAAIIIIIIIIIIIEEEEEEE!!!!! [he leaps at the screen, but Tails yanks him back]

wearing his

TAILS: Bikini

backpack and looking ready for anything. He threw up a hand

SONIC: He had obviously been eating raw Mobians again.

and waved. "Hey everybody!

TAILS: I woke up and found a hole drilled clear through my chest! Isn't it cool?

Over here--I made a new breakthrough in my research!"

SONIC: I stepped on it and fell through into a hidden room below!

The group

TAILS: Hung him.

approached him, except for

SONIC: Me.

Thorn, who stood at a distance and

TAILS: got her hair done.

looked on in suspicion. Dash was strangely excited.

SONIC: It's always strange when he's excited.

He pulled out his

TAILS: Pet slug.

notebook and

SONIC: Sprinkled it with salt.

flipped through it as he

TAILS: Ate.

spoke. "I was going through the

SONIC: Debris of my hometown.

copies I had made of the

TAILS: Fanfic "Diary of a Mad Assassin", which also doubles as my life story.

inscriptions in the ruins, and I happened across this: 'The liquid eel is guardian'.

KNUCKLES: I still take that as a personal insult.

SONIC: Knuckles! You're back!

KNUCKLES: Yeah, Amy was waiting at the door with a cream pie. Want some?

SONIC: Eww, not when it's on your face!

KNUCKLES: Hey, I got us some refeshments, didn't I?

TAILS: You can keep it.

But I looked closer, and over here

TAILS: Is a giant cockroach.

are a column of runes I couldn't read.

SONIC: They're all in English.

Well, I tried interpreting them from top to bottom instead of right to left,

KNUCKLES: He rather missed doing the crossword.

TAILS: Yeah, you don't get much to do in Azkaban Prison.

and it said--" He paused, looking for the page.

SONIC: Oh ****, I must have put it in my other pants!

TAILS: I've never heard anybody use 'asterick asterick asterick asterick' as a swear word before.

"Here it is. 'He guards the emerald, he was given it at the beginning of the world, he will defend it above all costs ...' This is the good part ... 'it supports his life power.'" Dash looked at the group, eyes aglow. "So if we somehow destroyed the other emerald, Chaos would die instantly, like how a light goes off when you cut the power."

KNUCKLES: [yawn] How many times have we seen a monster with one weakness that the heroes have to go after in order to stop it, and eventually the hero is just about to get killed and he plays on the monster's one weakness at the most critical second and wins utterly?

SONIC: Another one is that the only person the villain devulges his plan to is the hero.

TAILS: [as LaRoach] Since you are the only person in the entire world capable of understanding my genuis, I will explain my entire plan to you in nauseating detail.

"Whoa, whoa," Sonic said, making a T with his hands. "Who the heck is Chaos?"

SONIC: [as himself] I haven't even STARTED production on Sonic Adventure! The villain's name is Chaos? I thought it was Void! Or Dark Sonic! I want spoilers!

"That's the name of the

TAILS: Rodent-themed amusment park.

water-monster--I know you've seen it. His name is

KNUCKLES: Asterick asterick asterick asterick asterick. Classified info, you know.

Chaos. From what I know of him,

SONIC: Which is nothing whatsoever.

he feeds off the energy of chaos emeralds, and the big emerald I found seems to make him alive."

TAILS: He has to microwave it every morning.

"You can't just destroy a power stone," Knuckles said, folding his arms. "I know. I've got eight of 'em at home. Sonic, here, has thrown a couple into lava and it didn't affect them."

KNUCKLES: Do I detect a shameless plug for this author's fanfiction?

SONIC: [holds up a shameless plug] Yep, here it is right here. I got it out of the shower this morning.

TAILS: Why would Sonic throw a bunch of emeralds into lava?

KNUCKLES: Don't ask, Tails. That's what the author wants you to ask so she can suck you into reading her fanfiction. She feeds off the lives of kids reading her stories.

[Tails and Sonic look horrified]

SONIC: Really?

"On the contrary," Myron contradicted unexpectedly.

TAILS: [as Myron] She would never do that. It's all a pack of lies.

[Sonic takes the pack of lies, opens them and shuffles them onto the carpet]

KNUCKLES: Sonic, stop lying around.

"The large power stones,

SONIC: As opposed to small power stones? Hmmm?

as you call them, can be cut and smashed and ground into powder." He spoke with a sort of deadly ferocity, as if he knew well of what he was talking about; which was surprising, considering his profession.

TAILS: As a rock crusher-grinder-polisher.

SONIC: [singing] There are no monsters in the future, and the streets are paved with emeralds!

Knuckles looked at him in shock. "How do you know?"

SONIC: I've been there. People will no longer walk anywhere, they will ride in flying cars. Walking will be a form of amusment, or excercize. Cities will be built on clouds. Crime will no longer exist.

TAILS: Yeah, because Sega merged with Sony and Nintendo.

SONIC: Exactly.

"I know," Myron said, and did not elaborate.

KNUCKLES: Here the author left it wide-slam-bang open for someone to pick up on how the Governess really destroyed all but one of the chaos emeralds in the future, and nobody used it!

[silence]

SONIC: She told you to say that, didn't she?

KNUCKLES: Yep.

"Anyway," said Sonic, "in order to kill the monster--Chaos?--you're saying we've gotta smash his emerald?"

TAILS: Righto, good chap. We'll collect the jackhammers and sledgehammers and rockhammers and Vulcanshammers and go after the bloody thing!

"Yeah," Dash exclaimed, nodding vigorously.

SONIC: I really hate that man.

"Where IS the thing?"

TAILS: RIGHT BEHIND YOU!!!

"In Kope City--or outside it, actually. In the dig. It's about thirty miles northeast of here.

KNUCKLES: Oh, this is interesting. First, he ran to Knothole in a single night. Then, Kope City was halfway across the world. Now, Kope City is thirty miles away.

[Tails and Sonic start singing 'It's a Small World after all']

We ought to go, now, before Chaos gets wind of what we're up to."

SONIC: It was very windy that day.

Sonic looked at Dash for a moment, trying to see if he were

TAILS: Alive.

serious, which he seemed to be. Sonic shrugged. "OK, then. But why don't we hitch up with Slash and have her take us there?"

KNUCKLES: I'll just hitch the serial killer up to this cart and off we go.

It was Dash's turn to look confused. "Slash? Who's that?"

SONIC: The Grim Reaper. Nobody important.

"Slasher," Sonic said, and did not elaborate. 


TAILS: He was getting back at Myron for not elaborating.

Instead, he took ahold of the

SONIC: VMU.

silver whistle that hung on a string around his

TAILS: Ankle.

neck and blew it once. It was silent, too high for everyone but Tails to hear,

KNUCKLES: Obviously, it wasn't silent if Tails could hear it.

who covered his ears as a matter of course.

TAILS: What? I can't hear you. I have my ears covered.

After a moment there came a clear cry from above the treetops, quite different from Chaos's roar.

KNUCKLES: Here comes the next self-insert. Acclaimed by many to be the best of her kind, Slasher is NetRaptor's self-insert into the Sonic universe, and although she may be likable, she is still a self insert and can get as self inserty as you like at the drop of a hat.

[Sonic and Tails stare at Knuckles]

Dash dropped flat on the ground and covered his head,

SONIC: Wimp. I hope this Slasher thing eats him.

and Myron whipped his rifle to his shoulder and sighted along it into the afternoon sky.

TAILS: Bang. Slasher fell to the ground in a heap, and the world was cleared of yet another self-insert.

Sonic and Knuckles immediately jumped at him and forced the gun down. "Don't shoot her!" Sonic exclaimed angrily.

KNUCKLES: You'll spoil the plot!

As he spoke there was a swish of wings, and a great winged creature dropped into the woods, landed lightly and folded it's feathered wings to its sides. It was a six-foot tall velociraptor, but it had wings, which were the most impressive feature it had. It cocked it's head and said, "Hey there, Sonic. You called?"

KNUCKLES: Note the giant size, the nonchalant attitude and the wings. All self-inserts have those things. You have been warned.

Sonic stepped away from Myron, who was staring at  the new arrival,

SONIC: [as Myron] Wow, wouldn't that thing look great mounted in the corner of my office ...

and pulled Dash to his feet.

TAILS: Then Dash dashed away, as fast as his dashing Dash feet could dash him ...

"Hi Slasher. We need a ride. This is

SONIC: Crash Wimpicoot.

Dash Dingo, and that over there is

TAILS: Steven Curtis Chapman.

Myron. And Thorn is--uh, where's Thorn?" The pink hedgehog had vanished.

KNUCKLES: In a puff of smoke.

Slasher sniffed. "She's around. Where did you need to go?"

Sonic told her. Slasher bobbed her head. "Oh, that's only about thirty minutes from here as the raptor flies. All of you going? I can carry four."

SONIC: That thing can fly sixty miles an hour??

TAILS: Save me from the terrible self-insert!

KNUCKLES: That's another thing I forgot to mention. Self-inserts usually have Tails's flying ability, Sonic's speed and my strength.

As it turned out, Knuckles, Tails, Myron and Dash would ride, and Sonic would run along on the ground. (Slasher would not be flying full speed, as two of her passengers would be rookies.)

TAILS: Nice of her.

SONIC: This is Rookie One, now mounting Raptor for takeoff.

KNUCKLES: Raptor to Tower, Raptor to Tower, requesting clearance for takeoff.

SONIC: Tower to Raptor, you are cleared for takeoff.

TAILS: Slasher taxied to the end of the runway, fanned her wing flaps, then took off, accellerating until she lifted her nose upward and soared into the sky.

SONIC: But wait! Another raptor had already been granted clearance to land, no doubt on sick whim of the Tower's!

KNUCKLES: The incoming Raptor lowered it's landing gear to catch the approaching Raptor.

TAILS: Slasher tried to change course, but it was already too late. The raptors collided in midair! There was a thunderous orange explosion of raptor sounds! Ka-boom! Luggage and bits of passengers fluttered to the terminal far below ...

And so, all together, they took off into the northeast.

TAILS: Into the sunset.

Thorn, forgotten and left behind, set out along the route Sonic had taken. She would follow him--she would not be foiled so easily!

SONIC: She wasn't as gullible as that lilac bush over there!

KNUCKLES: What a stupid story. It's all self-inserts. Not even the link works. Look.

FILE NOT FOUND

TAILS: What a rotten fic. Well, there go the lights. Let's get out of here.

[They troop out of the theater. Amy is sitting in the lounge, playing Old Maid with Metal Sonic.]

METAL SONIC: Greetings. I decided to come up and check on you. Dr. Robotnik and Snively were abducted by aliens earlier.

AMY: Mecha's been playing Old Maid with me! He's a lot nicer than you, Sonic.

SONIC: So sue me, the only person she can get to play with her is a robot.

METAL SONIC: I must go now, Amy. Dr. Robotnik and Snively will be arriving any moment. [He puts down the cards and teleports]

[A second later, the viewscreen blinks on and Robotnik is glaring in at them.]

ROBOTNIK: What did you tell those aliens to do???

KNUCKLES: They were looking for MacZarnalds. We gave them directions, that's all.

ROBOTNIK: Argh, those LGMs, I should have guessed! Just for that, you will all be confined to that sattelite until you have finished reading all of Times of Chaos! [Evil laughter fills the room]

TAILS: Oh well, looks like we're in for it. Pass the donuts, Amy.

AMY: Here you go. Don't give Sonic any until he plays Old Maid with me.

SONIC: I'll be in the theater.

[Commericals]